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Surviving Divorce's Do's and Don'ts

divorce separation split

Going through divorce is surely one of the most difficult experience you will go through in life. The Huffington Post has recently published a very interesting blog entitled "Surviving Divorce: 20 Dos and Don'ts" which we found very interesting (and ho! so very true...). We have highlighted twelve which in our view were the most important ones. We have also added our own annotations, in a snapshot:

The most important "Do's":

  1. Focus on Your Well-Being: This must be your top priority. As some family specialists say: "You cannot take care of your children if you do not take care of yourself first."
  2. Spend Quality Time with Your Children: This goes without saying.
  3. Keep Relations Between Parents and Children Positive: Your children did not ask for the divorce and they have the right to share a meaningful relationship with both parents.
  4. Make Forgiveness a Priority: Depending on where you are in your separation process, this may not be easy however, it is the only healthy way to move forward.
  5. Organize Your Finances: If you were not the 'accountant' in the household, it is never too late to take control of your finances.
  6. Clean Out Your Closets: Yes, get rid of your ex-partner's stuff, or anything that reminds you of him/her. You will be taking a step in the right direction.

The most important "Dont's"

  1. Do not Isolate Yourself: Although you may feel like hiding, you must avoid spending all you time crying alone. Surround yourself with joyful and loving people as much as possible. Make new friends if you have to. You may also want to join a separation/divorce group in your community.
  2. Avoid Starting Bad Habits: Your bag of chips or your beer might seem very comforting when sitting on the couch watching your favourite television show. However, if you used to go to the gym, take walks or coffees with friends, now is not the time to quit.
  3. Skip the Rebound Relationship: Feeling loved and appreciated is much nicer than being single, night after night. The rebound relationship may seem like the best thing that ever happened to you. If you can, avoid introducing your children to your new flame until you have been dating for at least three to six months.
  4. Avoid Placing Blame: First, do not be too hard on yourself, it takes two to make a relationship work. Secondly, remember that nobody is perfect and letting go is the only way forward.
  5. Try Not to Make Assumptions: Too many people rely on their family or friends' divorce stories instead of consulting a family lawyer. Do not assume that your separation will have the same results as them. It most likely will NOT!
  6. Do not Forget the Good Times: Your ex may not be your best friend right now, but he/she did have some qualities when you were dating. Try to focus on those.

You can read the whole Huffington blog (and their own observations) by clicking on this link:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/12/01/post_601_n_790653.html

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