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3 ways divorce gets ugly

Contrary to many people’s beliefs, divorce doesn’t have to become ugly. However, the unfortunate reality is that many divorces do result in an ugly dispute inside and outside of court. The crumbling of a marriage often draws the worst out of a person during divorce.

Divorce only magnifies the damaging issues that brought the marriage to an end in the first place. It gets worse when these hurts are not only magnified, but mishandled. An “ugly” divorce results.

Here are three ways divorces get ugly:

Social media slander – Perhaps you are mutual friends with your ex-family-in-law on various social media platforms. Divorce makes friends and family take sides in the blame-game of who’s right and who’s wrong. Everyone is going to have an opinion about your divorce and you can’t stop that. Just because your sister is your sister doesn’t mean she will be on your side. She could show more sympathy and support for your ex-husband.

These opinions, hurts, blame, and judgements often get aired-out on social media. It is easy to not only attack your ex, but also your former friends and family who show sympathy towards him/her. Divorcing couples may also purposely get a makeover and a new girlfriend/boyfriend to post all over Facebook to incite jealousy.

Pettiness rooted in pride – Many couples find themselves acting petty because of their hurt pride. Divorces get ugly when a person has it out for you. You are the target of their petty legal moves and opposition. A damaged ego can make many people setup a million hurdles for you to cross until the final decree is signed. Even so, pettiness may lead to further problems should child custody be an ongoing issue.

Power, control, manipulation – Ugly divorces often involve an underlying motivation rooted in power, control and manipulation. This gets displayed in many ways. Your ex might hire people to stalk you during your divorce and separation. This person doesn’t want you to feel “free” from him or her. They may look for ways to control and manipulate your life despite the divorce through draining you financially and looking for ways to make you suffer.

Divorce is not always an easy process for everyone. It may take longer than others to peacefully divorce. However, if you are going through an ugly divorce, you are not alone. Get as much personal and professional support as possible to make it through this time. This too shall pass.

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